Tis true that time flies when you don't really feel like waiting. This is almost the end of February and I still have not pursued one of this year's commitment as intended. There are plenty of excuses I find along the way, conveniently presenting itself to block my mind from the task. I would say PROCRATIONATION is my own biggest enemy, the devil within and one that I have the most difficulty to overcome.
These past early months of 2015 have been quite eventful. We started the ended last year and began this new year with heavy flooding in the north eastern parts i.e. Kelantan, Terengganu, Pahang and also Johor. These states were hit by floods as tall as any building can be and served as reminder that with all our technology and modern development, we are still mere humans in the matter of nature. I cannot imagine those who have lost houses, cars, livelihood, all things that they own and have to start to re-build their lives once more. What was lost in weeks and months will take years to recover. May Allah s.w.t gives us mercy and his blessing to continue our lives in this world.
February this year is also when we celebrate Chinese New Year. I cannot think of this celebration without a heavy heart. It was on the second day of Chinese New Year in 2008 that my late father passed away. He was preparing to go to visit his bosses from work when he suddenly collapsed from a heart stroke. We had a planned earlier that he will join my mum who was taking care of Wajdi, who has a wee baby back then, in Miri for the upcoming school holiday and take a holiday trip to Brunei. So I still think of that plan till today and how much I regret not doing it any sooner. But I learnt that as a humans that we can make plans but nothing happens without the will of Allah.
This year in February too we lost one of the respected ulama of Malaysia, Tuan Guru Nik Aziz. I am sad to hear of his death as I think this means that we are inching closer to the end with the passing of knowledgeable scholars among us. I admit that I don't know TGNA as a person and what his thinkings are. But I know his humble and simple ways are loved by all as evidence by the thousands that came for his funeral. I have not read any of his many books till finished, due to my own ignorance and pure laziness. Thus I guess the least I can do in his memory to read and learn from the books that he has left behind for us. Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat dan kasih ke atas roh beliau, Amin.
Another reminder of this month is also passing of my good friend from Bintulu time, Azlyn who left us last year when she was still in Eygpt. I met up with her a year before in Cairo and managed to spend a day (not enough) with her and kids. My last memory was the beautiful delicious Nona cupcake that she had lovingly bought for us to bring home. I only have limited memory with her; from my time in Bintulu and over the years, occasional meet-ups in KL. I had thought that once we returned to KL last year, we would have more time to spend with each other as we are living in the same condominium area and I will be on my career break. Again it showed me that plans are always just plan unless Allah wills it to be. We think we have the time as we want but truth is we never know.
To reflect, I pray and hope that we will still have the time to settle our affairs as intended. For this, we need to know what is important and what we need to let go. Focus also on mending and retaining the relationship we those we love. For in the end, when we die, it is not us who bears the difficulties but those we love that we leave behind. They pick up the pieces and whatever problems that we leave behind. So love your time and use it wisely to be the best good person you are. Amin.
